Mom's intuition...

After a few sleepless nights, and a few days with minimal eating, I knew something was up with Judah. So I took him into the pediatrician today. The nurse practitioner who saw him was going on about how at this age (the ripe ole age of 7 months), babies start showing sign of stubbornness. I kinda bristled, but didn't say anything. She continued talking that way (very nicely, not in a mean way) and seemed to be trying to convince me that he was just being stubborn, not ill. Then during the exam, she stopped as she peeked in his ear with the Ear-Scope. "O!" Looked a little bit longer, trying to keep the wriggling Judah in place so she could investigate more. "He has an ear infection. That would cause those things too." She back-pedaled a bit, saying that "Mommy knew something was wrong." I'll admit, I never thought ear infection cause those normally come with actually tugging on the ear and a fever. But I knew my boy wasn't acting like himself, yes. I found myself enjoying her wrong calls...

Afterwards, on the way home, and now as well, I realized that that isn't loving my neighbor. Yes, she was wrong. But "love...does not...boast; it is not arrogant or rude." (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). She didn't know what I was thinking in my head, but I knew. I kinda kick myself now for my late realization, and that I wasn't more kind. Yes, I didn't agree with her; and yes, I normally play the "anxious, but trying not to be anxious" mom role. But does that mean sin can creep in and fill my heart? No.

One thing I've been thinking of a lot lately is the title to another person's blog- "The Stay-at-home Missionary". It has such a wonderful meaning. That just because Jesus says "GO" in his final command in Matthew 28:19-20, doesn't mean you have to leave the country. The mission set before me by Christ starts with where He has placed me. And that's at home. I bring this up because I was hard-hearted in front of my son today. Not that he noticed, or thankfully that the nurse noticed. But I noticed. And one day, he will notice. He'll pick up on the things that I do, that I say. The things that I make priorities, and the things that I push aside. It's convicting. But it's a beautiful kind of conviction (if there is such a thing). I say beautiful because God gave me the marvelous gifts of a loving husband and a joyful child. And how I act effects not only them, but effects my relationship with God. So, knowing this conviction and God opening my eyes to see how it plays out in my life is a beautiful thing.

Long-winded entry, I know... but just some food for thought.