Flight

I hate flying. I'm the type of packer that wants to pack everything you may possibly need on a trip so that you won't have to buy it when you get there. Flying doesn't accommodate this mentality. I've parred down my liquids to 3 3oz. or less bottles in a small plastic baggy. I've diminished clothing options to what I think is the absolute minimum. And yet, with today's flying fees for checked baggage, I still can't think of how NOT to have to check a bag. You can have 1 personal carry-on (purse, back pack, laptop bag...) and 1 additional carry-on (suitcase presumably). And the fact that I haven't even packed myself yet because I'm trying to figure out how to pack 2 people in a backpack and a small suitcase is literally keeping me from sleeping. To top of the cake, Judah is coming down with something, and flying gives no wiggle room to stay an extra day to try and get into the doctor's office. I leave at 5:30pm... or I lose out on how ever much it was that I paid for my ticket.

In other words, I'm tired, discouraged, and disgruntled. The Psalmist talks of similar woes in Psalm 42. Granted, he's cast down because his enemies are taunting him in his affliction and saying that there isn't a God. I'm discouraged and truly pouting because I can't figure out how to pack. Perspective is good for me. But the Psalmist's words call out to me none the less. "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God" (Psalm 42:11) How quickly I can lose that hope that is so freely given in the gospel. How quickly I can turn to despair when things don't go as planned. Thank you Lord for being my salvation, my refuge, my God even though I am so quick to turn my back on You.

I can, and the more I think about it probably will, check a baggage (even if my stomach churns at spending $25 on baggage). I can, and will, bring a diaper bag (I was trying to forego it in an effort to cut down). I can, and will, bring toys for Judah for the flight (another thing I was trying to avoid packing). It's odd, but even saying these things settle my mind. The bible talks specifically about anxiety. Two favorite passages come to mind. The whole of Matthew 6:25-34 speaks against being anxious. It reminds that if the Lord provides for even the lilies of the valley, how much more does He provide for His beloved children? But my favorite verse within it simply says, "and which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life" (Matthew 6:27)? It's true. Studies have shown that worry and anxiety lead to signs of aging, sleeplessness, and shorter lifespans. So what are we to do with our anxiety? "...do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God,which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7). Lay it on God and He will give peace. Isn't that beautiful? It's a peace that we can't even fathom, and it guards us from adversaries like I have- anxiety, discouragement, weariness. 

So as I rocked Judah back to bed at 4am (definitely an ear infection- he doesn't wake up for any other reason in the middle of the night), I lay my pleas before God. And you know what? 45 minutes later, I can go back to bed...