I say a little caffeine mainly because I'm drinking my rationed one cup of coffee right now. The cool fall air has rallied back from the last few muggy summer days. Bread is baking and filling up the apartment with its delicious smells (it's not my bread but a gift, so that means it'll actually turn out!). The boys (Judah and Wade) are sleeping, and devotions are had (Joel 1 if you want to join me!). So in the silence of the homely atmosphere, my mind of course goes a wandering.
Over the past few days God has laid a few things heavily on my heart. In the 3 interviews I've had, I found myself saying over and over, "I'm here because I want to serve." According to Gary Chapman's book "The 5 Love Languages", service is my primary love language. But have I been serving?
On Saturday, we enjoyed the singing and skits of New Song, a Geneva college singing group. One such skit was two neighbors seeing their children off to school and hanging around a bit to talk. One of the ladies was telling the other how she recently found Christ, and desired her friend and neighbor to think on her own salvation. The woman, somewhat taken aback, laughs and says she's already a Christian. Instead of finding comfort, the newly saved neighbor rebukes her for never saying ANYTHING about Christ in all the time they've spent together. The "Christian" neighbor defends herself telling of all the things that should say for her that she's a Christian (no tv, talk about going to church, never cussing, etc.). But the thing that struck me most at the end of the skit was the words from the hurt friend, "But we're best friends. What if I had died without knowing Christ? How much can you truly have loved me if you never told me the gospel?" Immediate conviction set in.
Fast forward to Sunday night. We enjoyed fellowship with a couple from the church we've begun attending here in Pittsburgh (Covenant Fellowship Reformed Presbyterian Church). They shared with us the start-up housing project that a few of the families in church are doing to bring back the beauty of the neighborhood in an attempt to make it a safer area. When asked about the area, they admitted they've heard gunshots every now and then, but they were all isolated incidents. On the way home, I felt uncomfortable, and somewhat frightened. Just days before I had been with a girlfriend and she had told me the safer way to go home from her house at night and asked me to call her when I got home safely. Until then, I had felt naively safe in our apartment. But coming home to a dark quiet apartment (Joe was at a conference) sent chills down my spine and caused me to turn on all the lights and check every nook and cranny. On our way home Sunday night from the couple's house, I admitted to Joe this new fear that I'm fighting against and how I don't know if I could ever live in an area where gunshots are heard, even if we got an alarm system or a huge dog. He thought over my words for a bit and talked with me on the need in these areas, and how much they need the gospel more than others. Needless to say, by Sunday night I was convicted of my selfishness and my fears of being bold for the sake of the gospel.
Then last night came. It was a wonderful night of fellowship with the women of the seminary, whether they are wives of seminarians, wives of professors, or women attending seminary for various reasons (pretty much anything but the masters of divinity which is for men only (see 1 Timothy 2 for more)). We had the joy of hearing Gisela Ruhberg speak on her life and her testimony of God's provision. It was an amazing story through war-ridden Germany through WWII and the communist times leading up to then. She told us of her journey to America and her life here since (despite being her for probably 70+ years she still speaks with a heavy German accent). But all throughout she repeated God's providence in her life and how God was always present in their home. Her parents brought her and her siblings up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord and how that played out in her life is beautiful to hear (for her testimony, see the December issue of the RP Witness). Many thing stuck out to me, but I'll only name a couple:
1. That her parents always had an extra plate at the table for beggars. When Gisela asked why, her mom told her "Jesus said, 'What you do for the least of my people, you do unto me.'"
2. She talked of the truth of Psalm 37, verse 25 especially "I was young, now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor their children begging bread." Gisela said that through all she went through, she was never forsaken, she was always provided for. Truly, she seemed to have a verse for every incident in her life that she held to knowing that God is truth and He can be found in the scriptures.
3. Her servant's heart. She was always honest, and even in dangerous time with communist riots and Nazi rule, she was bold in her faith and sincere in her efforts for others.
Overall, the Lord has been pressing on my heart to be more sincere in my service. To not hold back because of insecurity, but to be bold in the love of God because He loves me and saved me through His Son, Jesus Christ. He has provided so many wonderful opportunities to truly call me back to His word and the commands He has for His people.
So I leave with the question, how are you serving other at this time?
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